1 Day till we leave & 3 Days till surgery.......

I am so scared. I have this overwhelming sense of dread around me! It all started hitting me last night, as I lay wide-awake in bed. All I can think of is all of the bad things that could happen. Why am I doing this to myself? I was so sure of everything and now I am sure of nothing. I am already missing my kids. I know they will be fine. They are even excited about staying away from home. I feel like I am doing wrong by leaving them. I am worried about the long drive (if the suburban will make it). Also, the weather report is all thunderstorms for Chapel Hill, NC. What if the electric goes out while they are operating on me? I am really freaking out. Another thing that I am really worried about is what if they cannot repair my tubes and the whole thing was for nothing. I really want to have another child. I pray that anyone out there that decides to get their tubes tied does it on their own decision after lots and lots of research and does not listen to anyone that says they need their tubes tied because they do not need any more children. There are lots of ways of preventing pregnancy and I feel that I did the wrong thing by having my tubes tied and I have paid for it every day since I had it done. I am not sure if anyone reads this but if you do, please pray for us. Pray that my children will be safe and that we will make it there and the surgery has a good outcome and that we have a safe trip back home. I know I really need to be positive and place everything in God’s hands and let his will be done. I am really trying to do this. I have been counting down the days till we leave and now it seems like I don’t have enough time left for anything. I am missing my daddy so much with all of this going on. Anytime I was worried about anything or sick all that my daddy had to do was put his hand on my forehead and pray for me and everything was better. I had so much faith in my daddy and I miss him so much!!